As many cleaver and talented people that we have here I think we should make our own movie. The story opens on a dark and stormy night. A group of people are traversing the wilds of Kentucky looking for the ever-elusive wild grand poobah shouse.

Harold of course would be the director. Kristopher would be the writer. The One Rod would be the music director.

Any other ideas? We have many positions open what do you want to be or do? Remember we want to make Ed Wood proud.

I could be the old mean lady-but I would have
to be pretty I don't want to be ugly.

I think we need someone to run a-fowl (LOL) of the law, so that job can be mine. I meet up with the troup that is looking for the hero, shouse.

Probster (the other elusive board member) could do the editing and mastering. That massive computer he's building could handle projects from Lucasfilm!

This is how it starts

It was a dark and stormy night in the wilds of Kentucky. With the cold north wind driving sleet against the old and moldy stones of the castle. The bare trees scratching against the spider webbed windows. When in a flash of lightning a shadow appeared along the muddied track leading to the drawbridge. Lo, it was Amy come a knocking on the massive oak doors of the ancient homestead of the Grand Poobah Shouse.

The ugly and misshapen hunchback 2dogs answered the door. “I need a push,” said Amy. {No, no, no, that is another thread.} “Is this the home of shouse?” Amy inquired. “It is” answered the dogs. “But the master is not in.” “Nor has he been home for many months.”

“I lead a caravan of pilgrims on a mission to find the shouse. To these people this is a lifelong dream. An amazing journey to view there savior and immortal star. The one who gives our life meaning. Would you mind if we came in and kissed the very floor where he walked, to worship where he slept, to visit where he actually scratched?” Amy it seems has had too much coffee.

We will of course need the holy hand grenade to help us pass the tests before we ever see the being known as Shouse

2dogs scratched his brow, but could not find any harm in the request. Why not? Could be worth a laugh.

"Please come in. Be mindful of the rare collectibles but make yourself at home." 2dogs said while opening the doors further.

The group of pilgrims gasp in awe at the amazing sight inside. Ornate and utterly tasteful, the grizzled old sage TOR inspected the surroundings.

"Hmm... Just as I thought it would be." He gruffed. "The intellect of Shouse flows through this chamber in a overwhelming display of character and tact. I think we did right to follow Amy on a quest such as this. I think that we will be in for the biggest reward of our life once the wayward Shouse is found. Tell me, 2dogs, good sir. Where might Shouse have kept his lawnmower? I understand it's one of his greatest possessions."

I can dispatch the medics when you guys hurt yourselves.

2dogs upon hearing Amy mention his master's infamous lawn mower went into a fit of blind rage. Memories of torture and disfigurement all in the name of scientific advancement. Shouse picked up where Dr. Frankenstein left off so many years ago. Creating a freak of nature. In his way he experimented on many creatures and man alike. 2dogs was lucky in that he is now a servant of his master Shouse. Yet 2dogs knew that if he were to keep this new arrival alive long enough to admit his love, he would have to hide her from the evil doctor. "Quickly! Follow me Amy!" Amy deeply wanted to see the great Shouse and quizzically asked "Where art thou takest me?" Just then Shouse started to stir upstairs and 2dogs grabbed Amy by the arm and spoke in a tone that freaked Amy out. "To the bell tower a few legs away my darling."

"2dogs! 2dogs come here boy!"

Meanwhile Shouse awaken by voices bouncing off the long castle corridors, got out of bed and stood on the cold stone floor. In a feeble attempt to find his pink slippers, he fell over two feet he had just acquired from the local cemetery. He had taken a few minute nap to prepare him for the night ahead. When he fell to the floor, he bumped his head on the desk and called out to 2dogs. As he made his way to his feet, he noticed 2dogs was not there to greet him with the usual. 'Yes master!" Shouse was a little worried but he knew he had had more important things to worry about. Tonight would be the night he will finish his new glorious creature. He had found the secret plans of Dr. Frankenstein years earlier and had become obsessed with his work. Nothing was going to stand in his way. The stormy night would provide him with the electricity needed and he would be done with the legs in a few moments. A skill he mastered on all creatures and man alike. He didn't consider himself good or evil, he was beyond such a feeble notion. His work was more important than the rules society placed upon him. He knew scientific advancement done in good will or bad, was still a advancement.

Shouse made his way up to the laboratory where his almost complete creature resided. He had been trying to give him a name for quite some time but he could not think of one. "Oh boy, what am I to call you? I know I should have given you a proper name before but I've been busy" A few moments passed and his work on the legs were almost complete. When he heard banging noises echoing up into his chamber. "Who the bloody hell could that be?" "2dogs! Get that boy!" .. The bang at the door continued, "2dogs get that I say!" .. "2dogs! Where is that boy?" Chuckling to himself he spoke aloud; "Well I better go get it before whoever at the door wakes up the dead." Upon his surprise upon opening the door he finds Wesley standing there with a strange grin on his face, and a shovel in his hand. Wesley is the nobility who granted Shouse the castle and money to finish Dr. Frankenstein's work. "Shouse, is the creature complete?" Shouse with a bewildering look answered "Yes sir, I only need some lightning and he'll be alive! Alive!" They both started laughing and Shouse pondered. "Wesley, what is the shovel for?" Wesley tapped the shovel against the half opened castle door and with a quick painful blow knocked Shouse to the floor. Then repeatedly hit Shouse until he stopped moving. Then Wesley stuffed Shouse in a closet and proceeded upstairs to see his new creation. Upon entering the room he spoke only one word. "Trallyus!"

Holy Mother of God kristopher, that was fabulous. Only you are missing the infamous killer chicken, who was once thought dead, but alas, has again reared it's ugly head to cluck and kill.

Thanks but don't go giving away the secrets about the new creature that Shouse created to overtake his old one that Wesley stole from him.. And remember, wait until someone backs 2dogs and Amy in a corner. I heard that one thing to never do is back 2dogs in a corner. They will bite!

The night gave way to the day and in the glorious rays of light, the path of destruction was revealed for all to see. 2dogs looked at the grounds from the Bell tower which was only a few hundred yards away from Shouse's castle. The bell tower had been constructed many centuries ago and many a legend exist as to strange occurrences and even some speculation of poltergeists haunting the place. The appearance of the eerie looking tower only added to the legend. It twisted up from the earth almost as if it were a vine of a pumpkin with no determined path. It grabbed onto the sky defying gravity as it went, and it's base was surrounded by a mote of bloody looking water which was only the old rusted iron framework of the tower but few actually knew that or even cared. They liked the scary tradition too much to give credence to anything resembling sanity.

The night was one of fright for 2dogs as the clashing sound of thunder were overcome by the banging and destruction of stuff below. The occasional lightning flash gave only an instant where the vast void of darkness was unfolded and all they could see was the downpour of rain. Once he could swear he heard screams coming from the bayou below but just ignored it as fictitious guilt that he had betrayed his master by concealing Amy from the torture she would definitely endure in Shouse's eager yearning for scientific advancement. He and Amy were huddled together when the sun had risen to half the morning sky and 2dogs was the first to awaken. To his horror the entire grounds were destroyed and when he looked at the castle he almost fell out of the tower. A whole side wall had fallen and there his master was in the rubble, bleeding and hurt. He could not even imagine what could have caused this, "A tornado?" There has never been one sighted even within a thousand miles. "What could have possible caused this much damage?" 2dogs finally woke Amy; "Amy.. Amy! Wake up my dear, you must go to town and hide until I come to get you." Amy groggily whipped the sleep from her eyes as she looked upon the hideous 2dogs. She had not fully seen him in the dim lit castle entrance the night before and upon seeing his entire disfigured body now in the revealing light of day, almost let out a scream of horror. Yet she contained her fear and felt sorry for the pitiful excuse of a man that was trying to actually help her. As if she needed any help. She is the master of her own destiny and she started mumbling under her breath. "This man dare help me?" She stood up and bid farewell. "Thank you kind sir, I shall do as you wish. May the day be well." And off she went into safe confounds of town. Now 2dogs was off to help his master and take punishment for disobeying the rules.

Shouse had waken up a few hours after Wesley violated his body with the shovel. He made his way upstairs to the dark familiar dank old smelly laboratory chamber. Shouse felt something inside him explode when he saw that Wesley and his creature were gone. He cursed many a foul thing after that and his anger got the best of him. He was slamming his fists against the walls and stomping his feet when he tripped over something and started to fall down the stairs. He tried to grab a hold the railing but it wasn't there. The room wasn't well lit and 2dogs hadn't done his daily job routine yet. The anger still griped him and his fall only served to intensify his need for revenge. He knew what had happened and knew Wesley was not going to get away with stealing what was rightfully his. If Shouse couldn't have it, no one was. As he laid there on the rubble of a once side wall, he plotted his revenge. "Oh how sweet tis it be, when pain caused to me be repaid a thousand times over. Oh sweet tis it be.. Sweet tis it be."

2dogs made his way to Shouse and heard him mumbling something incoherently. "Master, Master are you alright? What happened?" Shouse rubbing his head and feeling the pain of broken ribs while breathing heavily which only hurt even more. With every breath the pain increased. "Help me stand boy! Where were you last night when I needed you? You are going to get a fine whipping when my legs get steady." 2dogs responded with his head down and tears in his eyes. "Yes Master, I deserve it and I'm sorry" Shouse took him in his arms, "It's alright boy, come on lets get inside." 2dogs was wondering where this affection was coming from. Perhaps this was just a ploy to trick him and for the good doctor to experiment more on him. "Master what happened last night?" When 2dogs looked at him, Shouse had a wicked grin on his face. "Master why are you smiling?" Suddenly everything went dark, and 2dogs could feel himself being locked in some restraints. He tried opening his eyes but something was covering them. He couldn't move, couldn't even talk. All he could do was moan. "Ahh, Ohh, mm mm Ohhmmm" As he layed there thinking the worst, he could hear footsteps around him. The voice sounded familiar to him for it was his master Shouse angrily repeating one word over and over again. "Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Revenge!.."

You really are a good story teller Kristopher.

He sure is, I think that this could be a lucrative business. kristopher, are you really a published author in disguise?

Lucrative business. Disguise. Are we at a masquerade party? Umm, I'm not hearing a no.. Does a tutu count as a disguise?

Actually not published yet as I haven't the time to really get into writing in depth like I would want to, perhaps later this year when/if I can go to college I shall set my sights at further developing that void I so wish to fill. Now that is a sentence. Thank you Bruce and Colleen. Did you say there is a lucrative business in a tutu disguise?

I did, you read correct.........keep up the good work.

EDIT:

I should have said "you read correctly "

So umm, naughty.. Does this have anything to do with those chain locked rooms upstairs? Also why do they have handcuffs on the walls and a whip in the corner? Yes, naughty..

Yes, they are right where you remember them, don't play innocent with me mister.

The chicken clucks

OH but I just love to play innocent.. You gonna punish me now? Wee hee!

Shouse was completely involved with his work and noticed nothing around him, not even Amy who was peeking from around the corner at him while he used his tools masterfully. It was a blur, a mindset he usually got in when he was intent on doing something and his anger for Wesley increased this separation from the outside world. His first creature was one of life, this new one was of death. He took 2dogs apart meticulously piece by painful piece to create the ultimate killer. The screams could be heard many miles away and the town folk started wondering what was happening in the cursed castle. Their superstitious way about them only served to intensify the gossip about the secret experiments. Amy covered her eyes many times and looked away, but kept looking back to see what her idol, Shouse would do next. Not even the brutal and insidious torture of the person who saved her could detour her infatuation of Shouse. When suddenly Shouse looked deep into 2dog's eyes and then took out his heart and raised it above him almost as if it were a trophy, and the pleasure in Shouse's eyes disturbed Amy. As she stood there with her eyes wide, she started to feel something inside her bloom like a flower does in the rays of sun light. At first it was almost unnoticeable until finally the feeling was overwhelming to the point of explosion. Right there on the corner stone wall she started gagging, she tried to contain herself but eventually threw up the chocolate she had just eaten in town a few minutes earlier.

Frightened and worried for her own life, she started running and didn't stop until her legs gave out. Not that Shouse noticed anyway, that dank old chamber smelled of worse things than vomit, like the decomposing body parts that had been deemed unusable. And his furious concentrated anger merely caused him to lose all touch with the outside world and it's influences. There he stood, with the heart of his mostly faithful servant in his hands. Bright red blood running down his hand and dripping onto the floor. His anger started to subside and his mind started to become aware of his surroundings. He stood there minute after minute staring at the blood dripping on the floor and lost all other senses. Drip upon drip the blood had become a small puddle and the drops on the puddle of blood were like a pebble being cast upon a lake. The drops sprang out to the edges and then in upon itself then another drop repeated this cycle again and again. A old face started to appear within the puddle. Looking more closely he noticed he was the old man looking back at him. Oh how he never had fun like the other kids. His mind started to wander back to the days of his childhood, when he had to always work. His entire family worked a farm and of course with a farm came chickens. This one chicken used to always peck at his feet and one day Shouse had enough of it and picked that one to have for dinner. As he sat there eating, the freshly cooked chicken was rather tasty but one bite served to lodge a piece of bone in his throat. If it had not been for his parents, he surely would have choked to death. That's when the idea came to him. "Yes!! A Killer.. Chicken!" Raising the heart even higher, "It's brilliant, no one shall expect a chicken to be their end. This is righteously karmic. Wesley the man who would be king, killed by a pretty little chicken. Yes! Yes!!"

A towel was wrapped around her body and she spoke so softly that Shouse for a second lost himself. He had ventured out of his castle to go to the market in town. He needed a few chickens to experiment on and truly dreaded the looks that were always to follow by the town folk as he made his way there. So he took a back road and upon doing so came upon a bunch of beautiful women. "Kind sir, what be'ist your name?" She stood there with her hand clutched to her chest, concealing the new blue two piece bathing suit she just bought a few days before. Mumbling a bit, he was not really comfortable around women. "Umm, my name is.. My name is.. Shouse." She looked at him with such lovely soft brown eyes and said, "Shouse, why don't you come and swim with us in the pool for awhile?" Shouse was happy that there was at least one person in the country that did not know him and especially the nasty true rumors. Yet he always made a fool of himself around women. "But my lady, I have no bathing suit to wear." She started laughing as did all the others when she took his hand and lead him to the pool. "Shouse, you need not a bathing suit, look around, there is no one to see. Come, swim with us.." She then took off her bathing suit as did the other women. Shouse thought about his work and revenge against Wesley. He thought of every reason why he should not get into this pool with three lovely nude women but he just couldn't, so he stripped down and into the pool he went.

Amy passed out on the field of a neighboring nobleman, and woke up under the stars. As she laid there, tears came to her eyes. It wasn't because she cared that much for 2dogs, not that he deserved what happened to him either, but how her idol Shouse had taken such pleasure in the death of him. To Amy now, Shouse was a monster. All those rumors started nagging at her and she layed upon the ground crying. Weeping so loud that a squirrel strangely came up to her. She looked at the squirrel, and waved her hand as in to scare it away. "Shoou! Leave me be. Don't you see I'm sad?" The squirrel did not budge and instead started scratching his head. Amy's tears subsided and she stared at the little creature. "Oh you are one cute squirrelly." Then the squirrel did something totally unexpected and amazing. "Hello baby, That's right.. I'm a naughty squirrel.. Love me!! Love me!!" Amy shook her head in disbelief. "Did you say something?" The squirrel walked a bit closer and, "Yes baby, my name is Senior Quantez. I'm the talkin and lovin squirrel. Love me!" Amy did not know what to make of this. "What in the world, why in the world, how in the world are you talking and why are you hitting on me?" The squirrel backed away and Amy started to think perhaps she was delusional or something. She got to her feet and started walking. As she walked through the forest, the trees seemed to call out to her. A few times she bumped her head against a stray branch and she was totally lost. A few branches in front of her started to move. "Hello! Is anyone there?" Amy squinted her eyes and grabbed a big stick to defend herself. The same squirrel came up to her and started dancing. "What in the hell is going?" she said. The squirrel winked it's eye and started chuckling. "Hey baby, lets get a room." Amy swung the stick and hit the squirrel dead on and he went flying through the air. He landed on a branch, the wind knocked out of him. "Oh baby, you like it rough. I love it!! Wee hee!" Amy started running, freaked out and didn't know what was going on. How incredible and impossible a squirrel was talking and not only that, was hitting on her. This was truly bizarre and unexplainable. Plus what she had witnessed Shouse do earlier to 2dogs and she didn't know what to do. If she found someone she would surely tell them everything, but perhaps best to leave out the strange part of the squirrel.

I'm going to have to come back to read this after I get some sleep.

a naughty squirrel. now I know what was missing from the Wizard of OZ.

Ok is that a warning to beware of the squirrels in the forest?

Not all squirrels are like that one. Most will at least buy you a cup of coffee before they start hitting on you.

Killer chicken, yeah!!!

I just read this all the way through, and all I can say is "wow".

I know, I know it's unbelievable, huh?

That's some real talent there. I hope that talent is used for good, not evil.

I like being one of the stars of our movie.

I should be happy that I was left out of it. And I am.

Hey Harold I'm sure you will be in the story before to long. The big question is will you live very long.

Well everyone here shall be included into the story and.. I'm not sure everyone will like their part. But anywhoo, a little controversy and humor goes a long way. Harold don't think for a second you are going to get away that easy, the roles of people here are just starting to be focused. I ask everyone to share their ideas and write about it. The more wacky the better. The different take on the concept and way of writing will give fresh ideas to the whole and will make a better story.

This will prove to be very interesting.

He had a curious and frightening dream the night before. It was rather strange, seeing as he rarely ever had dreams and if he did he didn't really remember them for too long afterward. Well his dream started out naive enough, it was completely dark and of course he didn't know it was a dream at the time. As he tried to make his way around in the darkness as if it were something to be expected, a distant light drew his attention. He peered closer to the dim light and what he saw was bewildering and questioned his entire existence. There he was looking at himself from afar, or someone who looked exactly like him. As he made his way closer he questioned the validity of what he was seeing and thoughts overwhelmed him. 'Was this person over there the real me? Was he just a copy of the one who was strapped down? If he is the real Bruce then who am I? If he is a copy of me then why do I have some need to figure out this bewildering situation?' When he came along side, the other Bruce asked him to release the straps that bounded his arms and legs. Bruce didn't know what to do, but he had to do something, if not then what was the meaning of the whole thing. All of a sudden, upon releasing the other Bruce, he became the one on the table strapped down. He pleaded with the other one to help but he just mockingly laughed at his naiveness and casually walked away.

He tried to move but he was trapped in his own body. His screams silent, his heart racing, his punches weak and futile. Above him stood the one thing he thought he'd never really have to face. It wasn't that he thought of himself as immortal, just that he was somehow out of death's reach. The shadowy figure was truly a phantom of the night. Nothing about it seemed clear and it's body naturally blended into the darkness surrounding it. The only realization of it's presence was the visible smoky shadows that existed within it's hollow expression. Death reached it's hand out and slid it into his heart. It wasn't as if death was taking the life from him, it was death itself that was becoming part of him. Death was infiltrating his body with a natural tendency like it had done a billion times before to other people. The Bruce who used to be was slowly fading to the background and his entire life and purpose faded with it. He was a man who used to be in charge of his own life, he took risks and gained the rewards. He was a man of control and then death comes along to take away that life. There he was, helpless to do anything to save his life. While the rest of his body resisted the blending, a part of him actually wanted to succumb to death. The pain and anger started to flow out of his body and a sort of peace took over. Death had completely become one with him and in the mirror he looked. For the first time he saw as others saw him, what he could be if given the chance. So much more he could do with his life if only given the chance. The dark shadowy figure released it's grip on Bruce and a new found love for life throughly filled his body. The shadow now completely out of his body became his duplicate. The duplicate reached down and started to unstrap Bruce.

Just then he was once again standing above his duplicate who was strapped down begging for him to release him. Bruce filled with the joy of life just started to laugh for no real reason. He had no worries, no pain, just love. He casually walked away into the darkness.

Bruce opened his eyes and saw the curtain across from his bed moving. He squinted to clear his vision and then asked, "Hey Tor, what's the big deal with messing with the curtains this early in the morning and on my day off no less." Tor looked at Bruce with a grin and came back to bed. "Bruce, were you having a bad dream last night, I noticed you kept rolling around." Bruce thought back to the dream and embraced Tor in his arms, "Yes and no. The dream was bad and yet intriguingly enough somehow good. Let's go back to sleep. Tor, I love you." Tor smiled and, "I love you too Bruce."

Once again, I am happy to have been left out of the plot.

Oh man I should have kept my big mouth shut.

My usual two days off is about to begin again, and if anyone wants to elaborate on this Bruce/Tor thing, they are more than welcomed to do so. Harold you are on the horizon buddy, and all I'll say is.. Hotsauce...

Wheeeeeeeee...........

I'm all a'flutter with the suspense. This is a good story. Hope noone steals it from us.

Geez... Where's my chainsaw?

Do you really want to know?

No

I do I do