As many cleaver and talented people that we have here I think we should make our own movie. The story opens on a dark and stormy night. A group of people are traversing the wilds of Kentucky looking for the ever-elusive wild grand poobah shouse.

Harold of course would be the director. Kristopher would be the writer. The One Rod would be the music director.

Any other ideas? We have many positions open what do you want to be or do? Remember we want to make Ed Wood proud.

I could be the old mean lady-but I would have
to be pretty I don't want to be ugly.

I think we need someone to run a-fowl (LOL) of the law, so that job can be mine. I meet up with the troup that is looking for the hero, shouse.

Probster (the other elusive board member) could do the editing and mastering. That massive computer he's building could handle projects from Lucasfilm!

This is how it starts

It was a dark and stormy night in the wilds of Kentucky. With the cold north wind driving sleet against the old and moldy stones of the castle. The bare trees scratching against the spider webbed windows. When in a flash of lightning a shadow appeared along the muddied track leading to the drawbridge. Lo, it was Amy come a knocking on the massive oak doors of the ancient homestead of the Grand Poobah Shouse.

The ugly and misshapen hunchback 2dogs answered the door. “I need a push,” said Amy. {No, no, no, that is another thread.} “Is this the home of shouse?” Amy inquired. “It is” answered the dogs. “But the master is not in.” “Nor has he been home for many months.”

“I lead a caravan of pilgrims on a mission to find the shouse. To these people this is a lifelong dream. An amazing journey to view there savior and immortal star. The one who gives our life meaning. Would you mind if we came in and kissed the very floor where he walked, to worship where he slept, to visit where he actually scratched?” Amy it seems has had too much coffee.

We will of course need the holy hand grenade to help us pass the tests before we ever see the being known as Shouse

2dogs scratched his brow, but could not find any harm in the request. Why not? Could be worth a laugh.

"Please come in. Be mindful of the rare collectibles but make yourself at home." 2dogs said while opening the doors further.

The group of pilgrims gasp in awe at the amazing sight inside. Ornate and utterly tasteful, the grizzled old sage TOR inspected the surroundings.

"Hmm... Just as I thought it would be." He gruffed. "The intellect of Shouse flows through this chamber in a overwhelming display of character and tact. I think we did right to follow Amy on a quest such as this. I think that we will be in for the biggest reward of our life once the wayward Shouse is found. Tell me, 2dogs, good sir. Where might Shouse have kept his lawnmower? I understand it's one of his greatest possessions."

I can dispatch the medics when you guys hurt yourselves.

2dogs upon hearing Amy mention his master's infamous lawn mower went into a fit of blind rage. Memories of torture and disfigurement all in the name of scientific advancement. Shouse picked up where Dr. Frankenstein left off so many years ago. Creating a freak of nature. In his way he experimented on many creatures and man alike. 2dogs was lucky in that he is now a servant of his master Shouse. Yet 2dogs knew that if he were to keep this new arrival alive long enough to admit his love, he would have to hide her from the evil doctor. "Quickly! Follow me Amy!" Amy deeply wanted to see the great Shouse and quizzically asked "Where art thou takest me?" Just then Shouse started to stir upstairs and 2dogs grabbed Amy by the arm and spoke in a tone that freaked Amy out. "To the bell tower a few legs away my darling."

"2dogs! 2dogs come here boy!"

Meanwhile Shouse awaken by voices bouncing off the long castle corridors, got out of bed and stood on the cold stone floor. In a feeble attempt to find his pink slippers, he fell over two feet he had just acquired from the local cemetery. He had taken a few minute nap to prepare him for the night ahead. When he fell to the floor, he bumped his head on the desk and called out to 2dogs. As he made his way to his feet, he noticed 2dogs was not there to greet him with the usual. 'Yes master!" Shouse was a little worried but he knew he had had more important things to worry about. Tonight would be the night he will finish his new glorious creature. He had found the secret plans of Dr. Frankenstein years earlier and had become obsessed with his work. Nothing was going to stand in his way. The stormy night would provide him with the electricity needed and he would be done with the legs in a few moments. A skill he mastered on all creatures and man alike. He didn't consider himself good or evil, he was beyond such a feeble notion. His work was more important than the rules society placed upon him. He knew scientific advancement done in good will or bad, was still a advancement.

Shouse made his way up to the laboratory where his almost complete creature resided. He had been trying to give him a name for quite some time but he could not think of one. "Oh boy, what am I to call you? I know I should have given you a proper name before but I've been busy" A few moments passed and his work on the legs were almost complete. When he heard banging noises echoing up into his chamber. "Who the bloody hell could that be?" "2dogs! Get that boy!" .. The bang at the door continued, "2dogs get that I say!" .. "2dogs! Where is that boy?" Chuckling to himself he spoke aloud; "Well I better go get it before whoever at the door wakes up the dead." Upon his surprise upon opening the door he finds Wesley standing there with a strange grin on his face, and a shovel in his hand. Wesley is the nobility who granted Shouse the castle and money to finish Dr. Frankenstein's work. "Shouse, is the creature complete?" Shouse with a bewildering look answered "Yes sir, I only need some lightning and he'll be alive! Alive!" They both started laughing and Shouse pondered. "Wesley, what is the shovel for?" Wesley tapped the shovel against the half opened castle door and with a quick painful blow knocked Shouse to the floor. Then repeatedly hit Shouse until he stopped moving. Then Wesley stuffed Shouse in a closet and proceeded upstairs to see his new creation. Upon entering the room he spoke only one word. "Trallyus!"

Holy Mother of God kristopher, that was fabulous. Only you are missing the infamous killer chicken, who was once thought dead, but alas, has again reared it's ugly head to cluck and kill.

Thanks but don't go giving away the secrets about the new creature that Shouse created to overtake his old one that Wesley stole from him.. And remember, wait until someone backs 2dogs and Amy in a corner. I heard that one thing to never do is back 2dogs in a corner. They will bite!

The night gave way to the day and in the glorious rays of light, the path of destruction was revealed for all to see. 2dogs looked at the grounds from the Bell tower which was only a few hundred yards away from Shouse's castle. The bell tower had been constructed many centuries ago and many a legend exist as to strange occurrences and even some speculation of poltergeists haunting the place. The appearance of the eerie looking tower only added to the legend. It twisted up from the earth almost as if it were a vine of a pumpkin with no determined path. It grabbed onto the sky defying gravity as it went, and it's base was surrounded by a mote of bloody looking water which was only the old rusted iron framework of the tower but few actually knew that or even cared. They liked the scary tradition too much to give credence to anything resembling sanity.

The night was one of fright for 2dogs as the clashing sound of thunder were overcome by the banging and destruction of stuff below. The occasional lightning flash gave only an instant where the vast void of darkness was unfolded and all they could see was the downpour of rain. Once he could swear he heard screams coming from the bayou below but just ignored it as fictitious guilt that he had betrayed his master by concealing Amy from the torture she would definitely endure in Shouse's eager yearning for scientific advancement. He and Amy were huddled together when the sun had risen to half the morning sky and 2dogs was the first to awaken. To his horror the entire grounds were destroyed and when he looked at the castle he almost fell out of the tower. A whole side wall had fallen and there his master was in the rubble, bleeding and hurt. He could not even imagine what could have caused this, "A tornado?" There has never been one sighted even within a thousand miles. "What could have possible caused this much damage?" 2dogs finally woke Amy; "Amy.. Amy! Wake up my dear, you must go to town and hide until I come to get you." Amy groggily whipped the sleep from her eyes as she looked upon the hideous 2dogs. She had not fully seen him in the dim lit castle entrance the night before and upon seeing his entire disfigured body now in the revealing light of day, almost let out a scream of horror. Yet she contained her fear and felt sorry for the pitiful excuse of a man that was trying to actually help her. As if she needed any help. She is the master of her own destiny and she started mumbling under her breath. "This man dare help me?" She stood up and bid farewell. "Thank you kind sir, I shall do as you wish. May the day be well." And off she went into safe confounds of town. Now 2dogs was off to help his master and take punishment for disobeying the rules.

Shouse had waken up a few hours after Wesley violated his body with the shovel. He made his way upstairs to the dark familiar dank old smelly laboratory chamber. Shouse felt something inside him explode when he saw that Wesley and his creature were gone. He cursed many a foul thing after that and his anger got the best of him. He was slamming his fists against the walls and stomping his feet when he tripped over something and started to fall down the stairs. He tried to grab a hold the railing but it wasn't there. The room wasn't well lit and 2dogs hadn't done his daily job routine yet. The anger still griped him and his fall only served to intensify his need for revenge. He knew what had happened and knew Wesley was not going to get away with stealing what was rightfully his. If Shouse couldn't have it, no one was. As he laid there on the rubble of a once side wall, he plotted his revenge. "Oh how sweet tis it be, when pain caused to me be repaid a thousand times over. Oh sweet tis it be.. Sweet tis it be."

2dogs made his way to Shouse and heard him mumbling something incoherently. "Master, Master are you alright? What happened?" Shouse rubbing his head and feeling the pain of broken ribs while breathing heavily which only hurt even more. With every breath the pain increased. "Help me stand boy! Where were you last night when I needed you? You are going to get a fine whipping when my legs get steady." 2dogs responded with his head down and tears in his eyes. "Yes Master, I deserve it and I'm sorry" Shouse took him in his arms, "It's alright boy, come on lets get inside." 2dogs was wondering where this affection was coming from. Perhaps this was just a ploy to trick him and for the good doctor to experiment more on him. "Master what happened last night?" When 2dogs looked at him, Shouse had a wicked grin on his face. "Master why are you smiling?" Suddenly everything went dark, and 2dogs could feel himself being locked in some restraints. He tried opening his eyes but something was covering them. He couldn't move, couldn't even talk. All he could do was moan. "Ahh, Ohh, mm mm Ohhmmm" As he layed there thinking the worst, he could hear footsteps around him. The voice sounded familiar to him for it was his master Shouse angrily repeating one word over and over again. "Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! Revenge!.."

You really are a good story teller Kristopher.

He sure is, I think that this could be a lucrative business. kristopher, are you really a published author in disguise?

Lucrative business. Disguise. Are we at a masquerade party? Umm, I'm not hearing a no.. Does a tutu count as a disguise?

Actually not published yet as I haven't the time to really get into writing in depth like I would want to, perhaps later this year when/if I can go to college I shall set my sights at further developing that void I so wish to fill. Now that is a sentence. Thank you Bruce and Colleen. Did you say there is a lucrative business in a tutu disguise?

I did, you read correct.........keep up the good work.

EDIT:

I should have said "you read correctly "

So umm, naughty.. Does this have anything to do with those chain locked rooms upstairs? Also why do they have handcuffs on the walls and a whip in the corner? Yes, naughty..

Yes, they are right where you remember them, don't play innocent with me mister.

The chicken clucks

OH but I just love to play innocent.. You gonna punish me now? Wee hee!