Ø Dear Abby,
I recently read your column advising grandparents on "tough love" for grandparents to give misbehaving
grandchildren, whose own parents let them run wild. I have followed your advice, and enclose a picture
demonstrating my technique when my grandson just won't behave while I'm babysitting for him.
They have told me not to spank him, so I just take him for a ride, and he usually calms down afterward.

Sign me,

Tough Love Grandma

That should get his attention.

That'll make them behave

No more rotten little kid

Spare the rod and you got a headache for the rest of your life!

I may have to call Child Protective Services

Sure! Call them now . Where were you when my dad used to beat me like cake batter?

My step son was out of control when I first came here. He thought everyone owed him everything. I tried to be nice and even gave up my birthday (gift, cake, what have you) to buy him a evening of paintball with his friends. He repaid me by stealing a barrel guard from the place. So that was it.

From then on when he acted up something fun would disappear. The internet, the phone, movies or wrestling on the satellite, special trips into town... Soon it sunk in.

He still acts up some but he's better now. No hitting necessary.

We still had paddling in school when I was still in. They switched to the zero tolerance stuff that doesn't make as much sense.

Like i stated above, each child is different. When I was young all they could take away was the radio and tv as I had no computer or good stuff that the kids have today.

They could not take away my allowance either as I never got that as a kid either.

That is why I said that each child reacts differently to different forms of punishment and some times parents need to get tough after they tryed all other options.

I have a niece who's mother never punished and she gets away with murder with her mother but when she is visiting here she knows not to do that stuff. Some things I have seen her do to her mom while she was here is when her mom called to check on her here, she basically got her mom upset as heck then when her mom was frantic and yelling she told her to shut up and hung up the phone on her. Then her mom called back and she told her she wasnt going to talk to her unless she calmed down.

Not just that but she used to constantly hurt her little sister because she was jealous of the new family member and instead of her getting punished for it her mom would say it was an accident even though my mom and other members of the family saw her do the stuff on purpose.

That is why I say for some kids the no spanking rule can only be taken so far with some kids and with others it works great. Different strokes for different folks.

As for me, sure I was whipped with a belt when I was younger, but what hurt more then the belt was the treatment I and others got in school. I can take being whipped by my dad but to go to school and have some kids messing with you when your trying to get an education is more traumatizing then a simple belt and I can identify with those so called kids that snap and carry a gun to school. As at least when you get whipped with a belt or punished at home in however many you do, you can go to your room and think about it and you know why you were punished.

When your in school one year you can be doing well then some punk decides you looked at him wrong and then makes it his mission to mess with you all through school. Not just that but alot of kids are told not to fight in school by their parents, so that adds more stuff to the kids thinking.

Then when the kid does get in to a fight with the bully his parents are called and the school now usally gives the kid a suspension then the kid has to go back to school to the same people who bullied him before, etc.

Not just that but most kids in school learn that darn code of dont tell, dont tell, etc, so when a parent does ask what went on in school today they usally get the standard answer of oh nothing.

Also if your not a teachers pet in school you might as well forget about being explained how to do something. I was not a teachers pet and so I would have to read alot and study alot and in my spare time I helped other non-pets out in learning how to do something which most kids never thought about in school unless they wanted something.

That's why I ask my nieces from time to time what is happening to them , etc in school and in life in general and take time to really listen to them as that in my experiance hurt a lot more then anything my dad ever did and I sure as heck do not want to see them go through that crap do to that don't tell rule most kids live by.

I am sorry if I went off OneRod but school hurt alot more for me then any whipping from my folks. There is alot of other stuff I won't go in to since I wrote to much already but the belt is but a memory while the public school experiance still stays.

I do believe we are on the same wavelength. Same scars same experiences.

Public schools suck. I do fondly remember that fine day when I threw my bully across the hall and he hit his head on the fire extinguisher. Sometimes you just don't have any more cheeks to turn.