Today it was reported that an Ohio man was rushed to the hospital after his Chumby attacked him. Details are sketchy right now, but it is believed that the man suffered injuries to an area just below his belly button. It seems that his last words spoken before he went unconscious were, "precious why?"

A detective from Chicago has been called in to assist local law enforcement with the case.

And the Ohio man had a strange antenna sticking out of his house.

Camera crew are now on the scene with cameras zooming in its now reported that the antenna is actually sticking out of his head. At the first report the Ohio man was actually sitting on the roof of his house

Why is everyone picking on the Ohio man!!!

Why?.... Because we love you. mo e
Now everybody sing T..R..A,.....L..L..Y,.....U..S


OK! I will quit now.

And while sitting he had a strange bulge in his lap that he was calling a chumby

I'm dyin, stop.. stop

LOL LMAO!!!!!!!!!

I need to read the news forum more often than once a month!

Professor Backwards was slain in Atlanta yesterday by two masked gunman. Apparently people nearby ignored his cries of, "Pleh! Pleh!"


...
I'm sorry.

A small crowd gathered today to watch the ordainment of Trallyus into the higher echelon of Chumby users. He has attained the highest rank that can be given as a chumby master and will now be know as:
"Oh Chumby One"

We want photos

The royal chair for "Oh Chumby One" is being cast from pure gold and is on back order.

The Royal tack is set to be placed upon the Royal Seat for the Great One of Chumby. Thus I will secure my place as the Royal Pain in the Ass of the Great and Powerful Chumby One.

No arguing there

Ok, that is too funny! You're yrev ynnup!

Rumors are starting to circulate that something has happened to Jim. One witness said that they saw someone who looked like him wearing a cape and a home made Roman helmet made out of tin foil
saying something like " Captain Chaos" will take care of this"

Members of the world renowned Harold's Place are wondering where he is. He has been rather quiet lately One of the members contacted said " we think he may have been kidnapped"

An unknown source at the police department said that they are looking at a Mr. Rick Ashley as a suspect.

If you know where he is you are urged to contact Harold by using the instant messaging device attached to your fingers.

Around the time Jim was noticed missing strange lights were seen hovering in Indiana. Witnesses say the lights were coming off a plane that did not look like any known aircraft to date.

This just in. Authorities say Mr. Jim was found alive and well in his own bathroom. When Mr. Jim was asked to comment about the concern for his whereabouts he was quoted as saying "They are a chatty bunch and I can't keep up." The strange lights overhead are still unexplained but preliminary investigations point to a man named Wesley.

This just in: We just received video of strange lights

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/3581/UFOs_Over_Arizona_PT__1/

In recent interview this morning 'Captain Chaos' turned up not only in his cape & Roman helmet made out of tin foil but his superhero underwear (which are now on sale at your local thrift shop)he stated he was on a mission that mission being 'The Cannon Ball Run' ............. what exactly is 'The Cannon Ball Run' is still unclear at this time .......... stay tuned for further updates

New company opening up.

A new addiction rehab house is going to open it's doors soon.
they say that they specialize in spankosis. This is an addiction to being spanked. Anyone interested in getting in on the free trial period should should contact the new owner at this address

Mark Eed Desaud
555 wallop way
Queensland AU 573-6699

Addicted to spanking? Giving or getting?

I'm not sure if anything can help but it's a great idea.

Guest number two?

We have a little room down the hall for number 2.

Does it have the Chumby throne?

Tral does spend an extraordinary amount of time in there. (Note to self... Remove all magazines from little room.)

I just saw an ad for clear duct tape.

Try new Spankys brand, Clear Duct Tape:
"You can see the skin tear loose as you rip it off"

Testimonial: " I never knew you could see and feel pain at the same time, I can't wait to do it again"

I watched the 10 dumbest crimes on tru and they had one guy dubbed the duct tape bandit and wrapped his head in duct tape as a disguise

Thing is even after he was caught he claimed it was not him

Both

Queenslander no doubt

Darn shame I dont own a street directory, looks like Ill be an addict for life

I told you I have one but nooooo. You refuse to use it and just like to wander around getting lost till some kind passenger has to yell above the music that you're going the wrong way!

Kiwi probably.

Same thing

Not even close!!

Most Kiwi's are in NZ the rest are in Townsville, havent you ever noticed that

Yes, but that doesn't make Queenslanders Kiwis.

Theres only one thing worse than a Queenslander & thats a Queenslander Kiwi

They're wannabes. Just like you.

What are you talking about Im nothing like them, they cant even talk properly eg fush n chups

Yeah, but that's just cause your planning was more careful when you decided you wanted to live in paradise.

What careful planning I didnt even realise what I was doing until it was too late

It was subconscious. You always knew that you'd have to fit in with your betters because it's the only place to live.

It was & still is such a culture shock as I have told you in the past (& I know you found it very hard to believe) I consider myself not the sharpest tool in the shed but maaaaaaaattttteeeee since living here in comparison to the locals Im a genius how ironic

Just as well I'd finished my coffee before I read that.

SOME locals. We all have to put up with our share of cockroach and Kiwi rejects.

Coffee you are a funny duct tape girl, you dont have to pretend its not morning here

Perhaps not but I do need coffee after work. I now have scotch....happy now?

Yeah I forgot coffee is the new scotch thanks for reminding me

No, it doesn't work like that with drinks. Only directions.

LEFT! LEFT!! No not the new left!!!!

Yeah thats what she says

Yeah, she does!

You go girlfriend

Did you bob your head when you typed that?

I kind of swirled it and extended my right arm and did that wave thing with my hand

Thought it might be something like that. You've got all the moves.

That pull in all the hot guys like Trallyus

I know, I have a favourite though. I think we need to try it out at that servo again.....see what calibre of hotness it pulls this time.

Think the kids will sit on the floor for a while?

Doubt theyll ever show their faces again

Our kids!! LMAO

thats right I forgot theyre weirdos

Could tarnish our image in a HUGE way.

What do you mean they could they do

Yes, but this will be the first trip with three instead of two. The figures could make it worse!

For James maybe

Have been thinking about this place you speak of Gort, will I be guaranteed a spanking good time

Its rehab Kate they won't be spanking. They will make you admit you are powerless over being spanked then talk about wanting to be spanked but how being spanked will ruin their lives. And how one spank will lead to many more spanks

It might be like a clockwork orange for spankers. You might have to sit with your eyes pryed open and watch movies of people being spanked. While they wrap you up in clear duct tape and rip it off.

Then once you are cured you will be required to go on a promotional tour of Spankers scared straight.

Kate isn't a spanker she's the spankee.

I think she'll go either way.

I have heard that about her. Its okay. Nothing wrong with it. I myself am a lesbian. I like girls.

I like guys but you can like girls all you want. Just don't touch the hot young muscles on my men bodies.

Their all yours.

Now days you don't know who is male or female!! NOW there is a "guy" ? going to have a baby.

What I don't get is how they can show said guy naked from the waist up as technically he is no guy and technically they are showing nudity by showing her bare breasts all over the place

I think the law has finally met it's undoing.

OK, from what I was told by my wife is, that said person started off life as a female, had enough surgery to be legally defined as a male and now is pregnant. So I don't think that the law is written to stop showing the male torso naked. So that is why I believe that they can show that and get away with it.

I have found some pretty strange stuff when we have searched rooms in the past when I was a cop. I am glad that I can put that area of my life in the past.

Just think Tral this could open up a whole new era of women having sex changes just so that they can be in a new magazine called Playboys pregnant men edition.

Well if she can be called a man and show her breasts I think we should call Angelina Jolie a man as well so I can see her manly parts

Yes I myself am gay my names Kate & I love men

An Australian woman claims to have been probed by GORT.

" I've had a lapse in time I keep seeing this image of GORT and all I think about is long cylindrical objects" "What has happened to me?"

This is why I woke up tired! Damn memory wipe won't let me remember any of the details.

That may be good!!

Tennessee man claims to have the smoothest finger nails.
A driver for a bottled soft drink company has laid claim to the world's smoothest finger nails. He claims that he has polished his nails to the point that they glisten and blind other drivers. " I found that I get my deliveries done quicker if there is no one else on the road."

Rumors are that he will be doing a commercial for Yellowbook very soon.

Check out this story I heard about!!

"A Tennessee woman digs up dirt on Tennessee man and causes two people to be hospitalized with alcohol poisoning. One of those men will be arrested when he leaves the hospital for giving the other man, who asked not to be identified, a alcohol-laced bran muffin. There will be no charges filed against the woman and the man providing alcohol to the bran muffin giver is free tonight after posting a $500,000 bond."

What an incredible story! Wonder if this is about the same Tennessee man with the shiny nails? HAHAHAHA

Preposterous! Simply preposterous.

An Ohio man has discovered that by moving an ingrown toe nail in his big toe to certain positions, that he can download music, pod casts and streaming video. Officials are monitoring him to see if he is downloading toe porn. They became alerted when a spy satellite spotted that his missile toe was lasting for over 4 hours.

Today authorities raided the home of a North Dakota man after it was learned that he had devised a way to create free energy. Officials were confused when they found over 100 2 liter Pepsi bottles that were filled with methane gas. When questioned the man explained that he only ate beef jerky and farted into the empty bottles. The bottles were confiscated and the man was taken away to an undisclosed location. His manifesto titled PEPSANE was also handed over to some men in black suits who then disappeared.

I heard he invented this
http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/discob...age-efficiency/

I did not provide the Pepsi bottles. Honest.

A Tennessee man who is a renowned sketch artist formerly know as "Captain Sketch" was found running down the street today screaming "They ruined it. They ruined my masterpiece!!!!" at which point he jumped into a bush and attacked a squirrel. At which point he was attacked by a Moose, who was friends with the squirrel.

Not YET the news. But this sounds like fun.

Just received news flash of Ohio man being arrested in a green one piece womans swimsuit......Anyone we know Tral?

I heard that all of Ohio men were arrested. Ranging from regular citizens to male cops and politicians after they each dressed up in a green one piece woman's swimsuit.

K.A. has done it again!

His latest invention to hit the market next week.

The Invisible Tanning Booth or I.T.B., is being hailed as one of the most scientific illuminations of the century. Now you can have that tan you want without all the expense of going to the spa.

Just standing or sitting in a regulated zone can now produce that controlled pigmentation you have always dreamed of.

Here is just one testimonial from one of his clients " I just can't get over the results. KA had me show up and sit in the controlled zone and in just one minute, I began to feel the effects just like he said I would. Now I come here every day."

"K.A., & the I.T.B. has changed my life"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BweMQcDu_Os
Ufo over Los Angeles causes sonic boom

Oh my ! and now a whole village has disappeared in China

Wesley, is this some of your doing?

Holy Crap Smokejumper has more posts than I do this month.

What did you do to him Amy? ( I know, I know, I am not on the need to know basis list)

All I can say is...... Ahhhhhhhhhhh. LMAO

Hello...911...

Ah yes I think I am turning into a Zombie Transvestite Hooker.

OK...why do you think that sir..uh..mam?

Well I don't know what my fingers are doing.

Can you see your fingers?

No!

No?

No! It is blue in here

It is blue in there?

Yah..and I don't know what to do... I don't how it happened but Wesley's hot minions are all over me.

Sir..eh.. Mam Where are you right now?

I am under the sink!

Why are you under the sink?

It's my only hope.

OK sir..eh..mam I am sending help. When the pimp comes to the door let him and his friends in. They will take you for a ride. When they get done with you, they will take you someplace and drop you off, and when you wake up, it will be just like this never happened and you can look in the mirror and start your day all over again.

Sir...Sir are you still there?

There is something strange going on here.

This Just In.... pet owners all over the US and other countries are reporting that their cats are cuddling up to them and farting.

The odors are reported to be toxic and many reports are that somehow the owners perception of who they are is being changed. In Ohio a man was seen running around with one of his cats strapped to his head, Chanting Bruce..Bruce...Bruce.

The cat speaks?

This just in -- Bruce caught feeding cats genetically modified cat food that makes cats fart pheromones that make people start to worship him when the people inhale enough of the cat's gas

Bruce said I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for that pesky Gort and his dog

Shhh you were supposed to keep this on the down low

I read this! soon the fact that we have had warp drive will be made public. It is OK Kris. I was told it's OK to let them know now.

Or the end of the world when the magnetic field collapses and matter touches antimatter

Don't worry Tral! They have to drink Tequila before they go to work! That way they don't think about what they are doing.

matter, antimatter, doesn't matter it all works for me

Never cross the streams!

Smoke jumper is the new gate keeper!

And the key is in a safe place

My pocket

Oh so THAT'S what's in your pocket, here I thought you were just happy to see me

It is a Small key... Lol

So are you saying that you were happy to see her?

Always happy to see her... otherwise it will prolly be the couch tonight.....

Good thinking Sir

See if I would be told to sleep on the couch I would just move it into the bedroom just to aggravate her

Tried to sneak in once, BIG MISTAKE...Lol

Do you still have all of your body parts?

lost my sanity Lol

Did you really ever have it to begin with?

Then there came Amy....Lol

I guess she missed that comment or is ignoring you

Sanity is over rated

No, still paying for it LMAO......

Looks like you'll need to hang out with the sinker or else the doghouse

He's chained to the sink.

http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2373698,00.asp

I have been telling you this for years, but does anyone listen to me Noooooooo

The TRUTH is out there!!!!!!!!!

We always listen, the question is do we pay attention?

Here it comes


http://www.sott.net/articles/show/206251-America-The-Grim-Truth

Wait for it, wait for it.............

You can only bullshit the American people for so long until stuff like this comes out

http://www.fastcompany.com/1708896/wiki-...toxic-pesticide

Now I see why government officials are so scared of wiki type leaks

Down in Oil City a bus driver lost control on a steep hill and smashed into a car being driven by a 16 year old boy. The boy is not expected to survive 5 kids on the bus were treated and released and there is no word on the passenger in the car. If you are the type how about a quick prayer for all the kids.