Think sore toothed wolverine. The real type

Aww Gweep, we don't believe that for a second. We all know you're just a big softie underneath all of the snarling and bleeching.

Not all of us...

I think Gweep needs a hug

By Wesley's pet Boa?

I'd give you a hug in a heartbeat.. Just, people with big white beards freak me out. Well, ever since that time with the local Santa Claus and getting my picture taken and everyone watching. Anyway, shave the beard.. Then we can talk about all the hugging.

Finally, a genuine excuse for my beard

What did you do to poor Santa?

I don't have the video or pictures of it with me.. I remember sitting in his lap telling him what I wanted and all the while trying to get him to look up so that I could grab his big white beard and show everyone that his beard wasn't real. I mean it even looked like there was glue around the edges and I was quite young and even I saw it. So I took it upon myself to show the world and other kids of this impostor.

So, I am there on video looking devious and trying to get it down. So I take my chance, sneakily grab for it and of course Santa seeing everything notices and stops me half way through and tells me I've been a bad boy. Hah, I didn't get coal that year in my stocking but I was quite freaked out that I would. Even though I knew he wasn't the real Santa, the possibility existed he worked for him as an agent and that the real Santa would get upset for me revealing such a magical secret.

Of course the next year it was the same guy and this time I didn't worry about his beard as he had that attached better, instead he had a coke on a little table beside him. Seeing as I didn't get in trouble last year and Santa didn't give me any coal.. So I took my chances and grabbed for it.

Obviously Santa even if he were an impostor outwitted a little child and got it before me and at that moment remembered me from last year. Jeez, he told me that he was really happy last year and that he didn't give me coal because I was right. That Rudolph shaved his beard as a prank and he had to put on a fake one last year. Which was why he still gave me presents and didn't give me just coal. This time he whispered in my ear that I would in fact only get coal and not the bike I wanted. I never mentioned the bike so that freaked me out a bit.. All this started because of a big white beard.

So that's why. If you have a big white beard.. Get away from me!

I was dragged to the same Santa, at Phipps Plaza, until I was eight-years-old. He was a nice old man, and he always remembered who I was except for that one year. One year, he was sick and sat next to a huge table full of bottles of cold medicine. He was so drunk from the Nyquil. He did remember me, but he kept calling me Gene. His assistant corrected him, several times. After each correction, he would say (rather indignantly), "I remember Gene!"

My kids weren't big fans of visiting Santa...they loved the idea but wouldn't speak to him and Ashleigh cried and ran off when she was about 3. Then as teenagers it became cool to get a group of friends to get their pic taken with Santa. How things change.

Funny... I don't remember actually going myself. I know I did as I saw pictures, and these were taken way before Photoshop...

I have two cousins who are terrified of Santa. However, they're not scared enough to prevent him from delivering the gifts they request.

Are any kids scared enough to prevent him from delivering gifts? Honestly?

No.

I, personally, think it is wrong to tell children that Santa and the Easter Bunny are real. Sure, lying to them gives them a few years of excitement, but--in the end--they'll be disappointed. Besides, neither have anything to do with their respective holidays. If you don't want to celebrate a Christian holiday, that's fine. I don't celebrate Ramadan. Just because I have no desire to celebrate an Islamic tradition doesn't make me want to invent my own version of it that is more enjoyable for me. I am also not a big fan of Halloween simply because it is a day for silliness that is so far removed from the true meaning.

I am sorry for the rant.

It's about celebration. About enjoying one's self. Whether that is through prayer and abiding by traditions or following silly notions that make people chuckle.

I was quite mad about the whole Santa thing when I found out. The fact that he wasn't real didn't bother me as much as that everyone was in on it. They were utterly lying, and together make a child believe in such a farce. Of course, now that I'm older I was doing the exact same thing they did. Only I used the net for videos/graphics to show Santa to the little ones.

It is about bringing joy to kids, and the adults get joy from them being happy. There is nothing like a little child's eyes lighting up when they see all the presents under the tree. Could one do without the rouse of Santa? Perhaps, but that's just the way it is and it is more fun with such a mythical person out there bringing presents to everyone in the world. Not just the privileged kids.

That also contradicts my belief for adults that one need not wait until a holiday to get somebody something. If one wants to give someone a gift then why wait? Just give it to them for no reason.. Also don't struggle to get everyone you know gifts just because they are going to give you gifts. It is truly a commercial holiday. It is far easier to buy everyone something than to give just one or two people something they would truly like.. Or not, at least you though enough about them to get them that instead of just buying a whole bunch of crap to give them.

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Now that was a rant and it is over.

For some reason, I am very anal over holidays. The only one I like is Thanksgiving. People act stupidly on the other days.

I was never really very upset over realizing that Santa was a fraud.

Your notion about giving gifts, whenever, is good for adults. It's not for children. I know children who get gifts all the time; and, after a while, they forget how to appreciate a gift because getting one is an everyday occurrence. I know a four-year-old who has a real cell phone. That's just ridiculous.

I can't really say much about the joy of making a child happy. I can't stand children.

Me either.. Still, a happy child is mostly a quiet child. Which masks its evil nature.

The ones I know make more noise when they're happy. If I were ever left to watch my second cousins, they would have a Benadryl dissolved in their juice. I can handle my first cousins. They're old enough to conduct themselves in a respectable manner.

As a parent I can tell you that Christmas is so much fun when you have small kids and toddlers around. The look on their faces is priceless when they come out in the morning and see the tree and the presents. Now that they're older there just isn't the thrill and surprise.