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315 Members
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Max Online: 1099 @ 06/29/07 07:42 AM
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#111233 - 03/12/05 04:53 AM
22 Smiles
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1,000+
Registered: 11/03/03
Posts: 1020
Loc: State of Confusion
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1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are a Florida Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
_________________________
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#111237 - 03/12/05 05:09 AM
Re: 22 Smiles
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The Merman
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 14670
Loc: Atlanta, GA
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Quote:
Rogue said:
 Those are so bad their good!
That's what I thought.
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#111238 - 03/14/05 06:49 AM
Re: 22 Smiles
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1,000+
Registered: 11/03/03
Posts: 1020
Loc: State of Confusion
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This was one of my friend's away messages. Quote:
I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
_________________________
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#111239 - 03/15/05 06:03 AM
Re: 22 Smiles
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Theme Queen
Registered: 07/16/04
Posts: 1673
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Aw, Harold changed the little yellow butts that showed new posts!!
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#111240 - 03/15/05 08:56 PM
Re: 22 Smiles
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The Merman
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 14670
Loc: Atlanta, GA
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Quote:
hfiles said:
This was one of my friend's away messages.
Quote:
I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
 
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#111241 - 03/15/05 08:57 PM
Re: 22 Smiles
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The Merman
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 14670
Loc: Atlanta, GA
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Quote:
Melanie_O said:
Aw, Harold changed the little yellow butts that showed new posts!!
I had been wondering when you would comment on that. 
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#111242 - 03/16/05 01:34 AM
Re: 22 Smiles
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I'm not bulletproof
Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 2104
Loc: Mini Soda
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Quote:
hfiles said:
This was one of my friend's away messages.
Quote:
I am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transferred to another correspondent, please press the number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant, please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalities, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter what number you press, no one will answer.
I think I'll use that on my voice mail. 
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#111243 - 03/16/05 03:03 AM
Re: 22 Smiles
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1,000+
Registered: 10/25/03
Posts: 4873
Loc: Columbus, IN
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I tried and it won't record that long.
_________________________
Jim
"Okay, one first romp, but it's romping that comes to mind, not your brains, blondie." - Dr. Rodney McKay
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Registered: 01/01/70
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